John's Favorite Christmas

Here is John's favorite Christmas. For those of you who don't know already John will be joining our family officially in October of 2018. He has been with Tara for about five years now. If I am wrong Tara please correct me. Number 7 is blank because he can't remember what it was. Tomorrow I will be posting Bekah's favorite Christmas.

 John struggled to think of a favorite Christmas at first.  He told me to go with a generic "my first Christmas with you" answer.  But then, while decorating the Christmas tree with Betsy (John's mom), he decided on a most memorable Christmas.  John's family normally spends Christmas Eve or Christmas day (it alternates) all together: cousins, aunts, uncles, everyone is invited. Over the course of 2 years (1-7  written the first year, the rest the following year) John, Jacquelyn (John's sister) and Nana decided to write the 12 days of Christmas - Fede Edition
12 cruise ships cruising- John's Aunt and Uncle used to cruise all the time
11 gallons of hair dye- John's Aunt Colleen dyes her hair all the time
10 flaming toes- John's Uncle Jim is a recovering alcoholic.  One time while camping, Jim got very drunk and fell asleep with his feet up in front of the fire.  The shoes he was wearing caught on fire and he woke up with flaming toes.  Don't worry, all 10 toes are still in tact
9 dysfunctional Fede's and 1 who thinks she's normal- written this way because they all have their imperfections but John's Aunt Maribeth, a psychologist, thought she was perfect.  This line caused some family drama, which tends to happen when any family gets together, especially with the drinking that tends to happen.
8 destroyed napkins- Betsy used to wear a lot of lipstick.  She would destroy the nice cloth napkins, so John's Aunt Mary started giving Betsy paper napkins at the dinner table
7
6 cigar smokers- The men in John's family love cigars
5 perfect children - John, Jacquelyn, Cousin Andrea, Cousin Aaron, and Cousin Sean
a four-legged dog - John and Jacquelyn's dog Mally
 3 White Haired loonies- John's Nana and 2 great Aunts
 2 Obsessed Golfers - Uncle George and Aunt Mary
1 annoying gym teacher - John's mom is a Phys Ed Professor.  She HATES being called a gym teacher (it's PE, NOT gym).  So naturally her children had to throw that dig in.